Learning to slow down as a stay-at-home mom

Frevert spent a decade in journalism and took pride in being a hard worker. At home, she tried to bring the same persistence to her children’s lives, believing that giving them her all would make their childhoods meaningful. But parenting offered fewer visible results than work: instead of seeing efforts in print the next morning, she might wait years to see their effect. She also found herself hurrying the children from one activity to another and repeating the same instructions without the thanks or sense of completion she had once enjoyed.

When her son returned to preschool in the fall, Frevert had three uninterrupted hours each weekday morning with her daughter. She initially filled the time with a nature class, household projects and errands. One day, she planned a half-hour walk to the neighborhood garden to check on their plants. The outing took an hour and a half, and she felt proud of what they had done.

The slower pace of her 18-month-old can be difficult, Frevert wrote. She thinks of the chores she could finish in that time, but says she is learning to quiet the internal pressure to do more, faster and better. When she does, she notices her daughter feeling dirt between her fingers and splashing in a puddle.

Frevert still takes her daughter to nature class and library storytime, and is researching kindergarten for her son, who is due to start elementary school next fall. She is also trying to let her daughter put on her own shoes and clean up spilled milk, even when it tests her patience. For now, she is reconsidering what hard work as a parent looks like: keeping pace with her child rather than rushing her to the next task.